Four days ago I learned I wasn’t one of the winners in Writers of the Future, but that’s okay. The last three weeks have already changed my life on more than the obvious levels.
I’ve had chronic Lyme Disease since I was in grade school, and the last six months have been hard. Four weeks ago were some of my darkest days yet because they’d come after what looked to be an upward shift. By the end of that week, I was slumped on the couch with fatigue, depressed about how life was so unfair. Then I got the call.
I was so shocked and happy to learn I was a finalist that my health began to turn around. I’d been unable to focus my eyes for more than a few minutes a day, but now they started to get better. I could spend some time reading social sites on the computer, and I actually watched a whole movie. I’ve contacted friends I’ve been unable to speak to in months, and had the energy to make new friends. I’ve had more energy, more clarity in thought, more raw hope driving me to dreams that are no longer so far in reach. I have an immediate and strong reason to push through the daily battles to get to the life I really want to live.
I’ll back up seven months to complete the circle. Last December, I’d already been unable to focus my eyes for half a year. Then, at the end of the month, I had three days where my eyes were strong enough to go on the computer. I hadn’t thought about submitting my writing for months because it was too painful to research markets and write the cover letters, but I pulled out the story I knew was my best and spent a day reformatting it and filling out the entry form for the contest. I got my story in just before the deadline, and it cost me a few days’ migraine, but it was worth it to know I was still kicking in this game. Two days later, my eyes got worse, and I was unable to focus again until a few weeks ago.
Things happen for a reason. I had those three days of grace in December so I could have the breakthrough I needed now to push me past a treatment dam and into places where I’m seeing more breakthroughs than I’ve had in years. I think the universe loves handing out miracles.